How to Talk yourself into Following your Dreams

When I took this pic, I had no idea I would be living here just 4 short years later.

I find myself in Paris. It's a lazy summer Sunday afternoon, my window is open to a view of Paris (and a partial view of the Eiffel Tower) and I am embarking on a new chapter of following my dreams called "actually making this blog project happen".

But that's not what this post is about. This post is about how I got here. How I talked myself into following my dreams. And how you can do the same.

I've only been living in Paris for 3 whirlwind weeks, and this past week I was listening to a Mindset & Motivation podcast ( https://mwfmotivation.libsyn.com/) about achieving dreams, and I had this little epiphany moment where I realized I'm 100% living my dreams. I'm living my dreams so hard, that I need to come up with new dreams because my past dreams are now my reality.

(mind blown)

So...how did I get here? And how can you do the same? Easy. It's all about talking yourself into doing what you actually want to do, and experience stacking (learn more about experience stacking here).

Ok, maybe not as easy as it sounds. But read on.

1. Pick one dream at a time

This is a crucial component in success. Any success. Because in order to become successful in something, you need to become a little obsessive. And in order to become obsessive, you need to be focused on one thing. Obsessively. It's a little hard to be obsessed with multiple things - it spreads your focus and time and energy too thin.

Trust me. This is something I know all too well. I am one of those individuals that tends to want to do everything and can't choose one favorite thing, and this holds me back. But I am learning the art of focus, diligence, and flow. And it's paying off.

So the takeaway here is to pick one dream to become obsessive about. Here are a few steps to getting you started.

Step 1: Think about your goals and dreams. Which one makes you the most excited? Is there a dream that makes your insides bubble? If so, move on to step two. If not, skip to step 3.

Step 2: How realistic is your dream? The trick here is to pick a dream that is realistic enough to actually be attainable (or not - maybe you can break the laws of physics- go for it) but also is extremely challenging. If it's too easy, it's not really worthy of being called a dream (a goal would be a better title) and if it's not at all realistic, then you're just setting yourself up for disappointment.

Step 3: Don't have any big dreams? This is a sign you are in desperate need to break out of the "just an average human" bubble. Humans are made to dream of doing something bigger than themselves. Our entire human history was built by humans with big dreams who refused to accept their present reality as their future. Humans are capable of doing amazing, reality defying things. And you are human, so therefore you are capable of the same. So pick your dream, and if you need some inspiration, find a historical role model.

2. Break your dream down into actionable, achievable goals

You've heard of SMART goals, right? If not, google it! This is your next step to making dreams happen.

Having a big dream is great. And obsessing about it is necessary. But until you put legs on your dreams by taking action, you'll just be that person who's always talking and never doing. Don't be that person.

The next step in making your dreams happen is breaking down your dream into SMART goals. For instance, when I decided I wanted to pursue an MBA program in France, the first thing I did was my research. I started researching MBA programs in France and Europe, and keeping track of the application requirements, deadlines, tuition, ect in a google sheet. This research and google sheet helped me understand the steps necessary to make my dream happen, and allowed me to create a list of actionable goals to get my closer to my dream.

For example:

Step 1: Set up a separate savings account and automatic transfers to this account to start building the savings necessary to make my dream happen (also, take on extra work and live lean, like Six Sigma black belt ninja)

Step 2: Decide on schools to apply to and document their application requirements and deadlines

Step 3: Start studying for GMAT

Step 4: Register for GMAT

Step 5: Take GMAT

Step 6: Apply to selected programs

Step 7: Apply for FAFSA

Step 8: Apply for student visa

Just to name a few.

(for more on my decision to do grad school abroad, check out this blog post)

Not only did I list out each step towards my end goal/dream, but I set a deadline for each step, and then obsessively pursued each step until it was completed and I could move on to the next step.

I'm not going to lie. It's not easy. It's not supposed to be. I ran into difficulties at each stage. I questioned myself a million times. I almost gave up a few times. I stressed about whether I could pull it off financially. I worked every single day without a break, came home from work and studied for GMAT for 4 hours before bed, completely gave up my social life for about 6 months, cried into my whiskey and exclusively dated Netflix ....you know, the usual.

And this is where the MOST IMPORTANT STEP of making your dreams happen comes into play.

Step 3: Talk yourself into following your dreams

I can't take credit for this golden piece of advice. It came from Mireille Guiliano, the author of Women, Work & the Art of Savoir Faire, a book recommended to me by my former boss (thanks Jessie!) that I would highly recommend (check it out here)

In her book, Mireille discusses her life-changing decision to leave France to pursue a career in the U.S. She said she was torn on the decision, because she was leaving so much behind, and she wasn't sure what a future in the U.S. would bring. But her mom told her to think of the worst possible thing that could happen if she moved to the U.S., and if she was ok with that, she should do it.

And this is the secret to making your dreams happen. Think of the worst case scenario/outcome of pursuing your dream. If you are ok with the worst case scenario, then you need to move forward and never look back.

And to take it even further, if your dream is really what you want in your life, then the worst thing that could happen is not even trying to make your dream happen, right? THIS is the worst case scenario - not even trying and living with that regret.

And this is how I talked myself into pursuing my dream of going to grad school (and living) abroad.

I almost called it quits. I hit a snag in the process and I was exhausted. And everyone seemed so skeptical of what I was doing. I started to be skeptical of what I was doing. I started to question everything. I thought of all of the ways things could go wrong.

But then, I started to think of what would happen if I stayed. If I just gave up the whole thing and stayed in NYC and went a different path.

And that's how I talked myself into following my dream.

It was that simple. As soon as I pictured myself giving up, not moving to France, not doing my MBA abroad, not having the opportunity to travel during my "grown up gap year", not studying French in France, not giving myself the opportunity to create an international career like I'd always wanted...but instead just staying in NYC where I was comfortable and secure. Well, that's all it took.

I decided right there and then that it didn't matter what happened. If I didn't move forward and live my dream of moving to France, I would forever regret it. It was what I wanted more than anything. And I wasn't giving up.

And I never looked back.

18 months later here I am. MBA graduate. A wealth of new friends, places, experiences and opportunities. A new career path. Sitting in my little apartment in Paris, working on my next dream project. Excited for the next chapter of this crazy adventure called life.

So to sum it up....always talk yourself into following your dreams. Because at the end of the day, the only thing stopping you is you. It's that simple. So stop holding yourself back and take the first step towards what you really want. It's really not as scary as you think.

Have questions? Comments? I'd love to hear from you! Comment below or shoot me an email, and don't forget to subscribe to join the Wanderlust Femme Community!

-The Wanderlust Femme